All Over Again
by cleverpenname13
Summary: Samka: No spoilers just something i made up i suck at summaries so just read it and comment
1. Chapter 1

All over again

Rated: pg 13-R mature

Type of fanfic: diary/play form/

Please comment if you like it or if

You don't please be brutally honest with me.

"14 December 2006 9:45 pm

Once again another amazing day at work with Luka. I can never get enough of being in his grasp it makes

Me feel so needed and less vulnerable when I am near or with him. I wish everything with Steve would

Just end I wish my past would leave me. Today was one of those days where u just wish you didn't have

A kid or responsibilities so that you could just spend forever in some ones arms . Being with Luka reminds me

Of how much I miss being in a relationship well a serious relationship. This is going to sound weird but I miss

Sex. I mean really miss sex. I thought I would never ever say that again after being with Steve and having Alex

But I truly miss being able to come home and have a guy to cuddle up in the arms of and not even have to have

That awkward moment of asking if we could he would just know. Luka isn't that way though I would have to

Bring it out in the open. Sure I've slept in bed with him but I need something to secure our relationship. I think

Me having Alex scares him.

Sincerely Sam "

She writes just before the phone rings and she sighs and closes the small black and white book that she has had since she was around 13 it has almost all her best secrets in it she which she wont even dare to look back on. She never could tell anyone about how she felt in her life. The last time she did she got stuck with a kid. She picks up the black phone laying there in her black nightgown. "Hello" she says quietly to him missing him so much.

"Hey hun" as Luka is looking up at the ceiling with his cell phone to his ear in the doctors lounge at county. "What are you

doing lets say around 11" looks over at the clock as it hits 10:50 pm

"Nothing why?" sitting in bed twirling her hair around her finger with her golden curls over her shoulder.

"Do you think I could stop by or maybe spend the night?" sitting in the lounge as Abby walks in

"Who are you talking to" lips looking at him

"Sam" lips back

"I don't see why u couldn't come over" smiling thinking about him and how happy that makes her

"Okay then I will be over in about umm.. 5 minutes?" smiling getting up to put on his dark coat and to head over to her place.

Abby rolls her eyes and goes over to grab a cup of coffee

"Okay that sounds great umm.. Luka.." bites lip like should I ask….

"Yes sweety?"

" Well uhhhh never mind it is stupid" sighs and thinks why cant I just ask him a simple question not realizing it but just sorta blurts out " I think we should have sex"

Abby spins all the way around hearing that because of how loud his cell phone is

Quickly Luka's pale white complection turns to a rosey sign of embarrassment "umm… can we talk about this back at your place hun im sorta in here with other people and I just don't think it is something they want to listen to us talk about" trys to laugh trying to make it less awkward " But I will bring something over for you ok" walks out the door of the lounge and goes for the doors of county " See Ya Jerry" walks out

"Okay, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Forget I even asked" softy outta sorts not sure why she just said what she said.

"No its fine, Sam don't worry about it. And if that was a question my answer was and still is yes.." smiles as he rings the door bell to her apartment still on the phone with her.

"Hold on some1 is at the door" gets up to get the door in her black slutty nightgown

"I know there is" laughs and hangs up.

Sam opens the door and flings her arms around the tall dark and handsome man holding onto him so tightly she wasn't having to great of a night before he showed up but now it made her night spectacular. Her black night gown flowing in the air as she practically pounces on Luka just wanting to be in his embrace.

"Well hello to u too" laughs with that deep sophisticated voice he always has. Quickly holds the petite,warm body close as if wanting to never let go. As Luka takes a few steps in the apartment and shuts the door he notices that it wasn't its natural spotless apartment that he was used to walking into on these late nights. Stoking her hair and holding her he gently moves some of the magazines and books off the couch and sitts down with her in his arms knowing something isn't right.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Sam laying in his arms almost to the point of tears with a lot more on her mind other than sex. Looking up at Luka brought delight to her but also pain and sorrow. Starting to cry now a little not sure what to do or say. She keeps looking over at the table with an open letter from the prison where Steve was at.

Luka holding her close and looks in the direction of where her eyes keep drifting towards. "Whats going on,Sam? Are you ok? How about Alex?"

Sam gazing up at him and wipes her face. " I got a letter from the jail that Steve was at today." More tears streaming down her face like a rapid river.

"Was at? Like as in past tense. Like not there anymore!" He looks at her trying to comfort her.

"I just cant tell Alex I can't I just can't….." She is cut of by Luka.

"Sam" He puts his fingers to her lips stopping her from continuing on. "What cant you tell Alex?"

"He..He.. ki..ki..killed and raped a woman in Boston…." She softly admitted with tears plowing down her cheeks. "I never knew he could do soo much damage to some one. They just.. notified me that.. umm.. well" Tears start to pour down her cheeks even faster and more of them"

He strokes her blonde hair trying to calm her down from her hysterical sobbing. " Sam, Hunny wat did they tell u?"

"He's being put under the the.. death penalty.. If I didn't have Alex this wouldn't upset me but.. I just can't" She buries her head quickly into his chest and crys. "I just cant get over the fact some poor woman had to go through the same thing I did because i just couldn't just couldn't.." She cant say it she just cant. She feels terrible that she didn't tell anyone sooner that he raped her.

Luka wide eyed. He never knew that he raped her. " Why didn't you tell me , Sam?" He states as he strokes her hair and kisses her head. He couldn't let go now that he knew he felt like he needed to never let go of her to protect her from everything and everyone. Luka knew that now she must be really vulnerable and need comfort and warmth and stabability . "I love you" As he holds her close hoping that he didn't turn her off by saying he loved her right now. Hoping she didn't think he just said that to make her feel better because he didn't he truly ment it and cared about her wants and needs.

Sam looks up a little bit stunned. "I couldn't tell you. I thought you would hate me." She states quietly. "I Love you too. That's why I didn't want to tell you and loose you. " She gently puts her head down on his chest and shuts her eyes trying to get the pictures,the sounds, the memories of that terrible night outta her head she just wanted to kill her past, forget everything and never have to look back on it. " After he got what he wanted once he wouldn't stop asking and if I would say No he would use force. And of course that didn't help the pregnancy much it just made everything a lot more painful and scary knowing as soon as I got home if I didn't do it the way he wanted It would happen all over again." She randomly blurts out. "That's why I am scared when I first come into a relationship I have been violated so many times I don't want that happening again."

Luka took everything she just said into deep thought and concentration. "I would never do anything to hurt you Sam. I want you to know that I am not that kind of guy. " He thinks how can any guy do that to a teenage girl? All he could keep thinking as he held her was what a bastard. Luka strokes her hair and kisses her head. " How about we change the subject ok…. " He admits softly in her ear.

Sam shakes her head apparently ready for a change of pace. She innocently looks up at him and kisses him.

With there tongues battling a beautiful war of passion, Luka rubs her back gently wanting to make a move but after hearing what she said about Steve doesn't want her to feel pressured. Sam pulls away gently and quickly. "I have a better place for this" Sam smiles and stands up leading Luka into her bedroom.. wait no her bed. Luka laying on her bed like a helpless puppy with her pinning him down on the bed and quickly starts to kiss her with a passion that he hasn't used in a long time. It was the sure fire ticket to her to be the next big thing in his heart. Suddenly clothes go flying acrossed the room. Suddenly this war was getting into the biggest war since world war 2 . Sam laying there outta breath ending up underneath now."I love you Luka." She softly and roughly admits . Luka feeling as though he hasn't had such a work out in years. "I love you too." He says completely outta breath and gently places himself down beside her on the bed and looks at her.

Sam laying there gazing at him with her big brown eyes."wow" She states smiling with a brilliant smile acrossed her face. "I cant believe we just did that."

Luka's arms now rapped tight around her with her warm naked body touching his." I cant believe we did either." Luka kisses her head. "I know I said this already but I love you,a lot. "


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

About three weeks later, Sam is racing around work like a mad woman trying to get everything done. So far just that morning they have had three gsw, a jumper, and then the normal crazies. Sam just keeps thinking about the past three weeks how great its been. Knowing that when she goes home she will be in her 'new' apartment, with Luka there and Alex. Over just the past three days her life has changed so much. From living in an old run down apartment, to living in Luka's beautiful newly renovated apartment with enough room for like 2 other people. She felt like a whole new person. She had no worries until yesterday morning that it is. Sam suddenly turns around quickly feeling some ones warm arms around her tiny waist and kisses the tall Croatian man.

"Hey there, what are you doing I thought your shift ended an hour ago?" Sam states in a quivery tone.  
"I know but, I wanted to wait for your shift to end and go home with you. Are you feeling better?" Saying in a calm voice and kisses her head.  
" I guess I do not much but a little. " She bites her lip as she pretty much beats around the bush.

"You still seem quite pale. Maybe you should go home." He states quickly.

Sam stands there soaking in what Luka just said with her head leaning up against his chest. She just wants to let go and just let him hold her. She was so tired, and wanted to go home and go to bed.

" I really should get back to work. I only have a forty-five minutes left of my shift." Sam lets out a little sigh after saying that.  
"ANOTHER GSW TO LOWER RIGHT ABDOMIN. SAM , LUKA." Abby states yelling down the hall to them.

Luka shakes his head like 'ok we heard you'. He looks over at Sam and strokes her hair. Sam reacts quickly to him with a kiss on the cheek.

"Only forty-five minutes…" Softly she talks to herself.  
" Maybe you should…" Luka shuts up when Abby comes up behind them.

Sam walks into trauma room 1 and helps with the trauma not wanting to. Every few seconds she would look over at Luka with obvious distress in her eyes.

"Sam go get the crash cards he's coding." Abby states loudly.

Sam pale as a ghost and goes to get the crash cards and comes back. With a yawn she hands the paddles to Abby.  
" Charge to 150." Abby looks over to Sam.  
Sam thinks 'Only 10 minutes come on pace yourself.'. Charges the refibulator to 150. Luka cuts in and whispers something in Abby's ear. Suddenly Abby shakes her head up and down in agreement.

"Come on Sam, Your off hun. Lets go home, so you can rest." Luka puts his arm around Sam pointing her towards the door.

"Okay" Sam walks out of the ER.

As Sam sits down in Luka's car she shuts her eyes just wanting to go home. She slowly looks over at Luka with nervousness in her eyes.

"Umm.. Sam.. Do you think you could be maybe well um.." He stops in mid sentence.

Luka pulling out of the parking garage and starts driving to his apartment with Sam. Sam looking over at him thinking about what he just said. A million thoughts race through her mind filling in the blank word that he left out.

"Pregnant?" She questions softly.

"Umm.. well yeah." He softly states back, not sure if it was rude of him asking or of worrying about that sorta thing.

Sam not quite sure how to answer. She thinks 'Could I?'. The rest of there car ride together was silent. No one said a word. They both have looks of thought and pure concentration a crossed there faces.Sam randomly brakes the silence.

"I don't know." Softly she states.

Luka knows exactly what she is talking about. Not knowing what to say, Knowing that he would be happy either way but he just couldn't face the thought of him getting someone pregnant in the matter of a little less than a month. Were they really that serious about each other that he would be able to live with her for the rest of her life or at least eighteen years. Luka gently touches her face when they pull up out infront of his apartment and kisses her. Showing true affection and passion.

"I love you" Braking through the kiss.

" I love you too" She softly states scared and nervous.

Luka gets outta the car and helps Sam out getting the door for her. Sam immediately goes straight into their room and lays down. Looking up at the ceiling. Suddenly she gets up and walks into the bathroom. Goes to the bathroom on the small white stick. Ten minutes later stands there staring at the stick.

Sam quickly leans up against the wall for support. Literally falling over by what she sees, she slides down the wall and sits on the bathroom floor with a dazed look acrossed her face. Luka gently knocks on the door hearing the slight bang on the floor.

"Can I come in?" He softly bargains.

"No. I'll be out in two seconds." Sam franticly says.

Sam throws the pregnancy test in the garbage and throws some toilet paper on top. She walks outta the bathroom and sits down on the bed picking up the phone as she does so.

"Is everything ok?" Luka says in a concerned tone of voice.  
"Ya, fine. I'm going to call Neela." Sam softly admits and stands up and walks out of the room.

Sam sitting down on the couch waiting for Neela to pick up her phone. Still utterly shocked, flipping through a magazine as she waits for her to pick up.

"Hello?" Neela says in a quick tone of voice as she picks up.

"Hey umm….. its Sam. Do you feel like going and getting a drink or something?" Sam softly asks.

" Ya sure. Is everything ok?" Neela says like she knows something isn't right Sam never wants to go out on a Friday when she could be with Luka.

"No umm…… I'll meet you out side of County in an ten minutes?" Sam quickly says.

"Okay."

Neela hangs up and puts on her winter coat and gloves. Since Michael isn't home she doesn't need to tell anyone she is going out. She picks up a piece of paper and write 'out with Sam call my cell if you want me. I love you! Neela'. Neela walks out of the door and meets Sam outside of county. Noticing the tears pouring down her face like a faucet she hugs Sam.

"What's going on? You ok?" Neela and Sam start walking to the bar.

"Does it look like I'm ok?" Sam sarcastically admits and stops walking.

"No it doesn't I wish you would tell me." Neela looks at Sam as she stops walking.

" I'm.. I'm….. pregnant." Softly Sam admits this to her friend.

Neela not quite sure what to say . She doesn't want to say the wrong thing. Neela puts her arm around Sam.

"Want to go somewhere other than the bar to talk. To much temptation. Don't you think?" Neela sweetly says.

Sam just shakes her head up and down in response. Sam sits down on the bench at the park next to Neela. Tears welling up in Sam's eyes.

"What do you think Luka will say?" Sam softly questions there relationship and her capabilities of being a mother.

"Luka's a great guy. I don't know what he would say but I know no matter what he will be there for you." Neela says in her comforting tone of voice.

"I don't know what I am doubting I've done it before right? I can do it again……. I hope…" Sam softly says.

"I think I am going to go……. Talk to Luka." Sam says as she stands up.

Sam walking back to her apartment. She quickly goes up the stairs and walks into the apartment. Luka is sitting there waiting for her. Sam quickly sitts down on the couch next to him and puts her head on his chest ready to cry. Luka strokes her hair and holds her hoping to make her feel better. Sam quickly falls asleep in his arms, forgetting to tell him and forgetting about everything that happened just laying there in his arms made all her worries go away.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Luka gently shakes Sam's arm at 5:30 am the next morning since they have work.Sam sleepily looks up at Luka and lips 'morning'. Luka strokes her hair and kisses her head. Sam smiles and slides off his lap because she fell asleep with her head on his chest and some how ended up laying pretty much on top of him.

"How did you sleep?" Luka softly asks.

"Okay, I guess" Sam admits as she sits up.

"What's going on, Sam?"

Sam just looks at him not answering. She wasn't not answering because she didn't want him knowing she was scared to tell him. Sam bites her lip.

"Nothing."

That is all Sam could get out. She just couldn't tell him. Luka knowing something is going on and just holds her close observing that she obviously needs comfort. Sam shuts her eyes and just lays there in his arms loving it. She hopes that she could just lay there all day.

"I'm pregnant." Softly Sam admits with tears streaming down her face. She bites down hard on her lip waiting for his harsh reaction. Well, what she thinks is going to be a harsh reaction.

Luka kisses her head holding her close not sure what to say but doesn't want to hurt her. He acts supportively as he turns her tiny body towards his and kisses her.

"Is this what you didn't want to tell me last night? Is this why you went out with Neela?" He sweetly questions.

Sam just shakes her head up and down worried. She thinks 'what will he do next'. Sam trying to avoid eye contact slides her arms around his neck and puts her head on his shoulder for comfort.

"Are you mad? Do you still love me?" Sam knows it was a stupid question and if he wasn't mad at her for being pregnant he would be about her asking if he still loves her.

"OF COURSE NOT. I WOULD NEVER BE MAD AT YOU OVER CARRING MY CHILD AND I SURE AS HELL STILL LOVE YOU." Luka gets a little uppidy.

Sam puts her head into his chest and just crys. She was scared before it eased her to know he still loved her but it scared her. She never saw him so angry. Luka stroking her hair holding her close.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. It took a lot of courage to tell me that." Luka softly whispers in her ear.

Luka gently kisses her neck and tilts her head up to look at him. Sam kisses his lips not a real passionate kiss but it was a kiss it showed true affection.

"I love you." Sam says not able to say much else.

After this 'touching ' moment Alex comes out of his room. Sam quickly wipes her eyes and straightens her shirt. Sam thinks 'ok now put personal issues aside time to be a mom again prove to your self u can do this'.

"Morning" She perkily says to her son.

"good morning mom, Luka." Alex says with a yawn as he pulls the coco pebbles outta the cabinet and pours him self a bowl with some milk.

"Would you like something to drink?" Sam questions.

"No if you stir the cereal enough it makes the milk in the bowl all chocolaty and I will drink that." He states forwardly with a slight laugh.

"Okay." Sam smiles. "When your done go get dressed and brush your teeth then me and Luka will take you to school."  
"Mom" He smiles with cereal in his mouth and swallows. " It would be Luka and I." He says laughing.

Sam smiles and looks back at Luka. Luka lips to her reassuringly 'It'll be fine'. Sam smiles and lips 'Thanks, I love you'. Luka lips back 'I love you too'.

"What will be fine?" Alex asks.

"Oh nothing just I have a long day a head of me." Sam looks at Luka. "I have to fill in for Gallant he is out of town for umm.. work…" She looks over at Luka and bites her lip.

"Oooooookkkk, If you say so… " Alex says as he gets up and puts his bowl in the sink. He walks into his room and gets ready for school.

As soon as Alex was in his room, Luka's arms were quickly around Sam's waist and kissing her neck. Sam giggles and looks back at him with a smiles and a couple tears in her eyes. Luka quickly wipes them away.

"What did I tell you about that?" He says as he smiles.

"Nothing." Sam laughs.

"Okay well then I ment too. No crying ok… I am here for you there is no reason to cry over this ok?" He quickly says.

"Okay. Sometimes I just cant help it though." Sam says as she bites her lip.

Luka kisses her head. Sam smiles.

"This is going to be a lonnnngg day." Sam admits softly. "DDDadddddyy do I need to go to work….. please write me a note." Sam giggles as she says that.

"I like the sound of that." He picks Sam up and spins her around. "I love you."


End file.
